I Don't Know What I'm Doing

Hey look, my own website!  I haven't had one of these since my early teen years when I made odd little computer games in my spare time (i.e. instead of my homework) and put them online to download.  Rest in peace, Masonware Games©...

Having an online presence is weird.  It makes me uncomfortable and self conscious.  Putting myself out in the public eye seems to naturally cause me to doubt myself and the value of what I create.  It makes me wonder if I am just bothering people and crowding the already crowded airwaves.  And then I think - What the heck is all that doubt doing for me anyway?  Preventing me from ever embarrassing myself by preventing me from ever having the opportunity?  So to counter my doubt, I try to listen more often to the voice inside me that reminds me that it is totally okay - and not just okay but important - to share the content of my interior, and that doing so is productive and healthy for me and for others.  And hey, it's a lot of fun!  And what a time we live in to be able to share ourselves.  So here I am on the internet feeling awkward but delighted, doubtful, yes, but always proud of what I am creating, simply because I know where it comes from in me. 

I don't know what I'm doing.  My guess is that you might not either.  And if you're out there like me, not knowing what you're doing, sitting around wondering if what you do or what you say or what you create has value or matters, remember that it does.  It matters even when others - even when you - don't think that it matters.  If there is something that you want to do that feels important to you, do it!  There is only so much time in a life anyway.  And do it because it is important to you before all other reasons.  Find that place in yourself where you know beyond any doubt that your thoughts and feelings are valid, and hang out there a little more often.  And whenever I remember to find my way back to that place, I hope to see you there.